[Found on a mailing list and coming from a Jewish believer in Jesus and straight from Israel.]
In honor of Purim, here are my 3 favorite jokes.
Q: Why are all the Israeli grocery stores selling fat loaves of
braided bread every Friday?
A: Because the next day is always a national "hallah" day.
[from the time of Menachem Begin]
A journalist covering Israeli-American relations arrived at the White House for an interview. Upon finishing his talk with President Reagan, he noticed an unusual telephone on his desk - a glowing white one with a halo over it.
He asked, "Mr. President, may I ask what that phone is used for?"
Reagan replied, "Oh, that's my hot line to G-d." Seeing that the journalist was skeptical, he said, "Do you want to try it?"
The other hesitated and said, "well, okay, why not?"
Reagan then said, " I have to tell you that those calls cost us $200 a minute, and I'll have to ask you to pay for it, but first go ahead and convince yourself that it's for real."
So the journalist picked up the receiver, and in a minute a look of amazement crossed his face, as he listened, then stammered out a reply and hung up. Without a word he handed over $200 in cash, and went out in a daze.
Two weeks later, he walked into Menachem Begin's office in Jerusalem, and - lo and behold, the same kind of telephone on the Prime Minister's desk! He said, "Don't tell me you have one of those hot lines to G-d too!"
Begin smiled and said, "Oh, I see you know about these. Would you like to make a call? It'll cost you half a shekel."
The journalist stared. "But.. but in Reagan's office it cost me $200 for a one-minute call!"
Begin shrugged and said, "Well of course. But you see you're in Jerusalem now, where it's a local call..."
[from Israel of the 50's]
The Prime Minister Ben Gurion was having a cabinet meeting, trying to come up with solutions for the economic hardships of the infant Jewish state. Floods of immigrants were straining the national resourses to the limits and something had to be done to bring in more money.
One minister rushed in all excited, saying, "I found it! the perfect way out of our economic problems!"
B-G frowned and said, "Nu?"
The other continued, "Listen. Remember World War II? Germany declared war on America, the Allies came over and whipped the tar out of them, they surrendered, and then the US came into Germany and rebuilt the country - and now Germany is on its way to being an industrial leader in Europe! And then look at Japan - they declared war on America too, the same thing happened to them - they're about to take over the Far East economically. So I figure, all we have to do is declare war on the States, they come in and beat us, and then they pour all kinds of money into Israel - and we become rich!"
B-G didn't change his expression. "Won't work," he snapped.
"Why not?" everyone chorused.
"With our luck, we'd probably win the war..."
Hag Purim Sameach,
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